I know I've fallen off the planet for a while. My bad. I'll try to explain without making too many excuses:
...That's a lie. All I have are excuses. Honestly, I just got frustrated and depressed with my blog. The progression goes something like this:
1. I look for new and interesting ways to occupy my new found free time after graduating and moving in with my fiance, leaving all my friends and hobbies in another state and being painfully aware of how difficult it will be for me to make new friends and find new places to enjoy my hobbies. I build a blog to chronicle my awkward, haphazard adventures in the far away land of Connecticut. I will blog once a week.
2. Wedding planning overwhelms me a little and I forget about all the cool wedding planning posts I wanted to make on the blog about dress shopping and sweet DIY decorations to focus all my attention on not panicking. It happens. In retrospect I should have known it would happen and been annoyed by it less, but I think we all know that that would have been impossible. I will blog later.
3. Once the wedding is over I have the energy to get excited about blogging again, and I do. I post about my wedding. I talk up my blog on Facebook. It is going to be awesome! I will blog forever!
4. Suddenly, my new husband is deployed. I am not as prepared for this as I thought I was. I tell no one I am struggling. I eat a lot of delivery and play a lot of video games for about two months before I venture back out into the world. I don't feel like blogging.
5. I make new friends. I read books. I find new things to do. I am amazed by my new situation and embarrassed that I ever felt I couldn't do these things. I still tell no one. I don't feel like blogging.
6. My grandmother is dying and my family needs my help caring for her. I move back in with my mom and dad to spend my days cooking and cleaning for my grandma and my nights anywhere else. My mom seems disappointed every time I leave. My dad just seems tired. It takes him a few weeks but he finally tells me he has CLL, a type of leukemia, and he will die without a bone marrow transplant. I am not a match. I am numb. I don't feel like blogging.
7. The rest of the deployment (six months in total) passes uneventfully and I go back to Connecticut to meet the submarine that kidnapped my husband. I have lost time to make up for. I don't feel like blogging.
8. New orders for him means it's time to move again... but only for 6 months (Where the hell are we gonna live?)... and then move again. I feel like my life is a giant mess that I am doing absolutely nothing with. I don't feel like blogging.
9. The craziness has died down. We are moved into our house for the next three years and I love it. I am surprised at how easy it is for me to get established with friends, and outlets for my time and creativity. I feel like I'm in my stride again. I have my groove back. And it only took me almost a year and a half.
I feel like blogging.
If "I don't feel like blogging" seems like a lame excuse to you don't worry, it does to me too. The problem is when I first got excited about blogging I looked up all these fabulous women bloggers (Hello Ladies, The Feminist Breeder) and even joined BlogHer. Even my super cool sister-in-law started her own blog about her super cool handy crafts. I continued to read them even after my interest waned and my own blog stagnated. All of a sudden I felt this pressure to have something insightful or important to say or it wasn't good enough to post. And we all know that in our heads nothing seems good enough to post. So it seemed that wall I plowed head first into was lowered, but not completely down. Until I saw this yesterday on TFB:
Challenge accepted. I have lots of projects planned this month and they'll all end up on here. Along with thoughts and feelings and anything else I've got. I hope I can be interesting and insightful, but mostly I hope I'm fun. Here goes.
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